Lufthansa Air-Crew Pioneers Unique Sicily-Malta Transition
The air-crew of Lufthansa Flight 306 bound from Germany’s Frankfurt Airport (FRA) to Sicily’s Catania–Fontanarossa Airport (CTA) is believed to have grown frustrated after their aircraft was denied landing clearance and rerouted to the Mediterranean island nation of Malta.
Prior to proceeding south toward Malta, the Lufthansa pilots skillfully guided their aircraft through a series of courses and turns which resulted in a radar track bearing a striking resemblance to the male organ of generation—which is to say, the penis.
A Lufthansa spokesperson blamed “wind shear” for the flight’s diversion and unusual radar track, stating: “Due to wind shear, it was not possible to proceed with the landing approach to Catania. Therefore, the captain had to fly a holding pattern and made the approach again, but without success. He then flew to Malta, refueled and approached Catania from a different direction.”
Pilots—a clever and expressive lot—have faced discipline for similar incidents in recent years. In 2019, two U.S. Navy officers working in the medium of contrails deftly ornamented the clear-blue skies of Washington State with an enormous male member.
Similarly, in 2022, a USAF KC-135 Stratotanker traced a glorious lower-stratospheric phallus in the skies over a Russian air-base in Syria.
A U.S. military spokesperson clearly lacking a working understanding of pilot psychology set forth at the time: “While these adjustments and movements appear to create a vulgar outline, there was no intent by the pilots or the unit to do so.”
Waypoint Partners reminds artistically-inclined aviators to bear always in mind that accurate portrayals of the privy-member are best attempted on windless days with high relative humidity. While moving-maps are helpful to such endeavors, reliable heading- and turn-and-slip indicators must be considered primary.
Neophytes are encouraged to execute a single turn-around-a-point followed by a spirited Chandelle and a second turn-around-a-point. Experts may opt for a well-flown Cuban-Eight bisected by a protracted Immelmann.
Clearing-turns, as ever, remain the hallmark of the superior aviator-artist.
Waypoint Partners counts a number of skilled aerobatic pilots among its industry and personal contacts—pilots happy to evaluate and critique photos of reader-pilots’ respective objets d’art.
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